How did this site ever slip under my radar unnoticed? If your idea of a good time is watching Jason Voorhees make like a Japanese steak house chef with that machete of his, then you have to visit Scab Boy’s Friday The 13th and Horror Blog. Scab, a tattoo artist in Buffalo, NY, is well-versed in all things regarding the classic Friday The 13th flicks, but I mention the site here because he’s obsessed with fan films based on the infamous slasher series.
When it comes to Jason fan films, I can’t imagine anyone’s watched more of them than Scab, and he’s reviewed each one on his site. Sometimes he loves ‘em, most of the time he’s disappointed, but what makes the reviews worth reading is his unwavering bluntness, which he wields like an axe coming for an amateur director’s head.
[WARNING: People who love blood and gore but are offended by obscenities should stop reading NOW].
Hilarious reviews and a Friday The 13th fan film after the jump!
Horror In Briones: The fan film really isn’t that bad; everything is well put together until the two main characters die. The editing seems to take a shit….
Friday The 13th: Vengeance: The fan film is about 5 minutes and is nothing more than one scene. I almost died laughing when I saw Jason—the suit looked awesome, the actor did not. Jason looked about 5’5″ and 300 pounds—like a hedgehog or something.
Jason’s Revenge: For a fan film, it’s a little less than average and I reckon it’s a good effort. I personally disliked it as it was pretty much everything I hate in a Friday The 13th film. Be creative, be original and Jason—lose that fucking machete!
Winter at Crystal Lake: The movie was pretty tight, but the characters, oh boy… they annoyed the FUCK out of me. Not a damn one could act themselves out of a game of charades and they ALL overacted to the point where you wanted to choke slam them. To this day, I have no idea why people associate bad, annoying characters to Friday The 13th.
Crystal Lake Resurrection: Oh my god, this movie was freaking hysterical! I have not laughed so much during a fan film- ever! – ever! Okay, so let me just get down to the nitty-gritty. The movie is about a kid who walks to the docks of (what seems to be) Crystal Lake [who] stumbles upon a crappy Rubies hockey mask. What does he do next? Well, like any kid would do, he slices his own wrist, lets the blood drip on the mask and starts chanting this hilarious “oh Jason, watery grave—come back!” mumbo-jumbo and what do you know—Jason was just chilling at the bottom of the lake. Jason pops out of the water and after raising his arms half-mast and breathing hard, he literally feels his way past the dock. I guess the actor could not see in the mask? Once Jason awkwardly feels his way past the dock, he sees this crappy Rubies hockey mask that fits the crappy Rubies undermask that he is wearing (and forgot to tuck in!). After about 15 seconds of placing the mask wrong on his head and shifting the undermask mask sideways, he gives up and carries on with his business.
Unlike the fan films themselves, the reviews only get better and better. Give Scab’s Friday fan film reviews a try—you’ll be glad you did. In the meantime, here’s the erstwhile Crystal Lake Resurrection.